Top 9 things no photojournalist EVER wants to hear

The other day I had an assignment to shoot Eugene Driscoll and Jodie Mozdzer, who work for the Valley Independent Sentinel in Ansonia. This was weird because a) they were another news organization and b) I know both of them pretty well... I'm accustomed to shooting strangers. Anyway, upon hearing that I was assigned to it, Eugene, who's wife Autumn is a good friend of mine and a photographer for the Connecticut Post, sent me this message, as a joke, which brought back memories of the most difficult photo assignments I've ever had to shoot:


1. I trust you'll be e-mailing the photos immediately after we shoot?
2. I want the photo of me taken in front of my computer, over my shoulder, as I look at the computer screen, because the story involves computers.
3. I trust I will have final say over what photo you use
4. ...You have 5 minutes to shoot -- as I am a big deal and extremely busy.
5. All wrinkles, skin blemishes will be either be Photoshopped out -- or I trust you'll be using a soft lens, such as the one usually reserved for Cybil Sheppard.
6. I have about 15 people I want included in the photo. We will stand together, shoulder to shoulder.
7. You'll have to figure out how to marry demands 2 and 6.
8. Breaking news will not, I repeat, not interrupt or cancel my photo shoot.

IDEA: Ribbon-cutting/ground breaking WITH a fake check presentation.

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